Amid Weeping There Is Joy (or HSC Conference 2010)

I find that it becomes infinitely easier to look back on things and find the good in them after a few days. The same is true for looking back and seeing what truly was as bad or worse than you thought it was at the time and figuring out how and why it went so wrong. It's somewhat therapeutic, after an event such as this, to lounge and think about the whys and the hows and pick apart the stresses, fights and failures.

When you put 25 teenagers together and deprive them of sleep, feed them junk food and put them under stress breakdowns will inevitably happen. Adding in 150 of their peers relying on them for amusement doesn't help anything. As well as things went (and most of them went wonderfully) bad things do happen. Things that could ruin the truly unique experience of the conference as a whole if you are willing to let them, and I almost did.

I've come to realize that there were a lot of tears shed in vain and perhaps some words that would have been better off left unsaid, but many things were justified even outside the heat of the moment. There are some people that will never be likable, actions that are unforgivable, trusts that won't reform. Those things won't change even after the initial bursts of anger and betrayal have passed. Nothing will make false rumors less biting or lies less hurtful, and they can't be taken back.

But there are also just people who made silly mistakes and said stupid things to the wrong people and never really thought about the consequences. Forgiveness isn't really in my nature but when it comes down to it well intentioned ignorance is not the same as idiocy and has to be forgiven. And the upside is finding out that what you thought was malicious really wasn't, which kind of brightens things up. :)

So when it comes down to it...conference was pretty good. A lot of the people were really awesome, and really gorgeous, and I wish I had been in a better mood to enjoy their company. We put together a few supercool parties and dances that were totally worth all the effort, and arranged way more workshops than I want to think about.

But my favorite part was probably Sunday night, hanging out and detoxing and letting go of all the things that had been stressing me out.

I'm still exhausted. I'm still kind of upset. But I'm actually pretty happy. Looking back there's always joy amid the tears.

I can't wait for next year. <3

Conference Countdown

This summer has been crazy: beautiful places, beautiful people, adventures, drama, sickness, parties, my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend, and a new puppy, just to name a few of the things that have happened in the last few months. It's been pretty epic and I've hardly been home at all in the past month. I think my family is starting to wonder if I'm trying to abandon them.

But August is drawing to a close, school is starting (for you conformists who attend XD), tons of people I know are being eaten up by Community College, the awesomely hot weather is going to fade...

But we're going out with a bang because the HSC Conference is this weekend!!! I'd have a hard time thinking of a better way to say goodbye to summer then this. Parties (SUPERHERO THEMED, WOOOOO! the nerd in me can't stop grinning), dances, crazy workshops, not to mention tons of awesome people in one place. And all the weekend before I start class (only one, damn them) at Sierra community college.

I can't wait! Only a day and a half left until it starts....

A Beach Vacation

If there is anything in the world that could make me believe in magic it would be the ocean. There's nothing quite like wiggling your toes in wet sand and looking out past waves to a completely flat horizon, or swimming in something that seems to go on forever. It's the kind of thing that causes existential crises or (in the case of little girls with overactive imaginations and a taste for reading fantasy novels) creates wild imaginings of swords, sorcery and the kick ass princess (Disney and the damsels in distress can go screw themselves). Or maybe talking dolphins, but I'm a bit past that phase.



The beach was beautiful, obviously. The company was great.

Universal studios was awesome.



I got some really amazing leg warmers.



And we all arrived home safe, sound and sunburned.

Much as it annoys my mother to hear it I never wanted to leave. Puppies and ponies aside, I'd stay in SoCal forever if I could.

So thank you to my lovely friends and their family for taking me back there, at least for a little while. <3