College is the goal, the motivator in everything we do from kindergarten until high school graduation. To have attained that goal in some small way by entering the Freshman English classroom is, or should be, the end of a journey from point A to point B and therefore a success story. For me, in this English classroom, it is not. Traditional schooling has always proved to be a stumbling block for me; from the first grade public school class environment to what is referred to as a school-at-home curriculum I have not fit the expectations of the system and have sought alternative educational options, in the process abandoning the idea of completing my entire college education at a four year university for the sake of convenience and monetary constraints.
In a system that teaches to the middle in an attempt to average out the success of all its students there is no place for those who excel or fall behind. If you require any special attention you are pushed aside to be dealt with later, with whatever small amount of energy or resources might be left over after the majority is pacified. At least, that was my experience in the public education system starting at a very young age. Having finished my work early I would be punished for trying to otherwise amuse myself. Misbehaving because of boredom or disenchantment with underpaid and undereducated teachers who had little to no passion for their subject, I was sent to counseling. If I could not conform I must be labeled in a way that could be more easily handled by the administration.
On one particularly memorable occasion the school administration tried to tell my mother that I had Tourette’s syndrome. Well, yes, I did have several motor tics as a child—coping mechanisms developed to help me deal with an environment that made me nervous and uncomfortable. I cycled through bouts of habitual eye blinking and throat clearing, two main tics used to diagnose people with Tourette’s, as well as other twitches, though I can’t ever remember manifesting all of them in the same time period. I suppose I could have had/have Tourette’s, but these were not the reasons that they brought up to defend their opinion. No, they had no real concern for my mental health; they simply wanted to diagnose me with something, anything, to makes their lives easier. If I could be put into a box and medicated then their lives would be simpler. If they could say I spoke out in class and had no respect for them because I was somehow damaged as far as they were concerned then I wouldn’t be back-talking for any legitimate reason like oh, say, they can never given me any real reason to respect them. (On an interesting side note, I have never again experienced any of these tics after leaving school.)
After having completed fifth grade, using a curriculum that I had finished through a brief stint in independent study two years previously in third grade, my parents removed me from public school to use a homeschooling program with course work modeled off of the public school standards. That worked little better than public school had in the first place and was quickly abandoned and followed by a descent into the little known but much despised practice of Unschooling. I spent several years going through a process commonly referred to as ‘deschooling’. I don’t remember much of those years. I slept a lot, I sat around and ate junk food, I watched a lecture series on Ancient Egypt and tried NaNoWriMo for the first time. During that time I refused to go out and socialize or talk to people, especially people my own age. A lot of people would classify that as highly unhealthy, but I’d say they’re wrong. I, as a person who was really fucked up at the time, needed to take that time to get my feet back under me. Trust me, when I came out the other side of that I was a much happier and more functional person than I had been for years before.
As my family got the hang of the lifestyle of Unschooling we discovered that it fit our interests and goals far better than public school ever had, mine especially. For the past four years I have studied what I was interested in, pursued my passions, and learned far more about a broader range of subjects than my friends in public school have ever dreamed. I’ll be the first to admit that there are some subjects that I’m more than a little behind in, but I have every confidence that I’ll easily catch up just as soon as it’s relevant that I apply myself to them. I think the fact that I easily tested into a college freshman English class, scoring nearly as highly as you can on the test (though they wouldn’t let me test OUT of the freshman class, sadly), after having had absolutely no formal English curriculum for the past five years, just goes to show how very little you really need to follow school standards to get the education you want and need.
Next semester I’ll be taking a full course load at the local community college as a highschool graduate, though in some respects I’ll still be taking highschool level classes to catch up, but for now I’m doing what I love: playing with horses, volunteering at The Grace Foundation of NorCal (these first two things tie into each other, which makes me very happy!), reading, writing, having interesting discussions with interesting people, and going on as many adventures as I can while I’m young enough to drop everything and run off to have fun.
Tell me, how is that a less valid way of getting where I’m going? College is still a goal, but it isn’t THE defining goal anymore. I’m partially there already. I’ll make it the rest of the way eventually.
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